Another week and nothing happens we have had 2 Asylum seekers boats sink, How many lives need to be lost before our Government finally steps up and does the damn right thing about it. All they talk about is stopping the boats, well you can stop them take an Air force plane over load up the Asylum seekers give them protection visa's and bring them home do this two to three times a year and it would stop.
Stop letting the lowest common denominator determined what you think the Australian people want. We WANT these people safe, we want them free from harm, we want the smuggling to STOP. We don't want people taking their lives into their own hands on a leaky boat to get here. We don't want them sent to Naruru where you can forget about them and we sure as fuck don't want them sent to Malaysia where they run the risk of being locked up for being an Asylum seeker.
We don't want yet another fucking committee telling us fuck all again, we sure as hell don't want Tony Abbott and his bloody boat phone. We want to Open up the lucky country that is Australia to those who are in dire need. Stop dicking with people's lives and man the fuck up and do the right thing.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Domestic Violence
Due to a recent "sports start" here in Australia Domestic violence has been being talk about again. It's really hard to explain to people who have never been in a Domestic Violence situation why it's so hard to get out and why people don't often realise they are in a Domestic Violent relationship until it's way to late.
Trust me when I tell you that you don't fall in love with a domestic abuser you fall in love with their alter ego. You don't fall in love with some one who beats you on the first date, or starts putting you down and verbally abusing you from the word go. It creeps up on you they start out small a verbal word here a put down there, it's so subtle that you don't even realise that it's happening and you question if you took it the wrong way.
Then it gets bigger, more put downs more isolation sometimes violent outbursts that are blamed on you. Then there is the beating(this never happened to me) There is a cycle of abuse the loving, the violence, the apologies the loving the violence and around and around it goes. The more you are abused the harder it is to get out. You start to believe the lies that you are fat, ugly, useless, that no one else will love you like he does, that you deserve what you are getting, that it's your fault, if only you would do things right they wouldn't get angry with you.
Then there is the fear I am grateful that I never had children in my situation but he wanted some even though I was only 16 at the time he wanted me to give up school and have a child I am so glad I kept the fact that I was on the pill a secret because if he had found out I would have paid the price. As it was while I was never beaten he was attempted and I managed to lock myself in the bedroom with a set of draws against the door to keep him out. Until you have lived with the fear that your supposedly loving partner puts in you, you will never understand why women and some men stay in abusive relationships.
I wonder how many people realise that the most dangerous time in a domestic abusive relationship is when you leave because the abuser has lost control and wants it back. You live in fear that they will come after you, they threaten to take your children away they threaten and some do end up killing you.
I was lucky I was able to go on a "holiday" to go see my mum in a town a few hours away and it was from the safety of her house that I called him and told him I wasn't coming back, Many woman aren't that lucky they have to run in the middle of the night or the middle of the day when their partners are either asleep or at work and they are leaving with barely more than the clothes on their backs.
So next time you hear of a woman in a domestic violent situation and are wondering why they don't leave don't assume it's because they don't want to it's because they are afraid to.
Trust me when I tell you that you don't fall in love with a domestic abuser you fall in love with their alter ego. You don't fall in love with some one who beats you on the first date, or starts putting you down and verbally abusing you from the word go. It creeps up on you they start out small a verbal word here a put down there, it's so subtle that you don't even realise that it's happening and you question if you took it the wrong way.
Then it gets bigger, more put downs more isolation sometimes violent outbursts that are blamed on you. Then there is the beating(this never happened to me) There is a cycle of abuse the loving, the violence, the apologies the loving the violence and around and around it goes. The more you are abused the harder it is to get out. You start to believe the lies that you are fat, ugly, useless, that no one else will love you like he does, that you deserve what you are getting, that it's your fault, if only you would do things right they wouldn't get angry with you.
Then there is the fear I am grateful that I never had children in my situation but he wanted some even though I was only 16 at the time he wanted me to give up school and have a child I am so glad I kept the fact that I was on the pill a secret because if he had found out I would have paid the price. As it was while I was never beaten he was attempted and I managed to lock myself in the bedroom with a set of draws against the door to keep him out. Until you have lived with the fear that your supposedly loving partner puts in you, you will never understand why women and some men stay in abusive relationships.
I wonder how many people realise that the most dangerous time in a domestic abusive relationship is when you leave because the abuser has lost control and wants it back. You live in fear that they will come after you, they threaten to take your children away they threaten and some do end up killing you.
I was lucky I was able to go on a "holiday" to go see my mum in a town a few hours away and it was from the safety of her house that I called him and told him I wasn't coming back, Many woman aren't that lucky they have to run in the middle of the night or the middle of the day when their partners are either asleep or at work and they are leaving with barely more than the clothes on their backs.
So next time you hear of a woman in a domestic violent situation and are wondering why they don't leave don't assume it's because they don't want to it's because they are afraid to.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Girly girls and Tomboys.
I have to admit I am a tomboy, I hate dresses I live in jeans and boots, I don't get the need for more shoes than you can wear, or handbags or make up. I like things simple I hate pink and prefer blue. I would rather be out drinking with the boys than inside drinking with the girls. I like rude jokes and crude sense of humour.
Don't get me wrong I do like looking like a girl I just prefer comfort over fashion. I tried so hard to make my girls tomboys yet I seem to have gotten two girls who are girly. They love dressed, they love shoes, they want make up(but I deny this request) one already has her ear pierced and the other wants it done(not going to happen until she is 8 or older).
Both hate rough games both are indoor types no matter how much I push them outside. One loves playing barbies and I have to make my self suffer and play with her just to keep her happy(I really can't think of anything worse). So how did I the tomboy end up with two girly girls?
Thursday, June 14, 2012
It's only half way through the year but we have a winner.
The most stupidest thing of the year has a winner and we are only half way through. While reading my favourite parenting site I came across this article http://www.illawarramercury.com.au/news/national/national/general/touch-too-much-pupils-protest-at-school-ban-on-contact/2590731.aspx?storypage=1
I am serious stunned at the stupid of it all. Banning touching at school what the hell is wrong with this picture. Naww children were being hurt sure that's sad but seriously NO touching no wonder the world is totally fucked up when you can't hug your mate or give someone a high five for something.
What happened to the days where a little rough play was encouraged, the days where the only thing that was banned was british bulldog? Why are we wrapping our kids up in cotton wool then sending them out as adults to deal with a world they know nothing about. Life is tough, people are rough children need to be prepared for this they can't be wrapped in bubble wrap.
When I was a kid broken bones were cool, a bruise was nothing, we played rough talked tough and we lived. Billy carts, tree houses, rope swings, swimming in creeks, getting dirty, outside without parental supervision. When the hell did we become a bunch of namdy pamdy morons?
How is this in anyway acceptable? How do children learn when they aren't allowed to try? How do they learn compassion if they can't hug their friends when they are upset?
WAKE UP WORLD we are taking things way to far.
I am serious stunned at the stupid of it all. Banning touching at school what the hell is wrong with this picture. Naww children were being hurt sure that's sad but seriously NO touching no wonder the world is totally fucked up when you can't hug your mate or give someone a high five for something.
What happened to the days where a little rough play was encouraged, the days where the only thing that was banned was british bulldog? Why are we wrapping our kids up in cotton wool then sending them out as adults to deal with a world they know nothing about. Life is tough, people are rough children need to be prepared for this they can't be wrapped in bubble wrap.
When I was a kid broken bones were cool, a bruise was nothing, we played rough talked tough and we lived. Billy carts, tree houses, rope swings, swimming in creeks, getting dirty, outside without parental supervision. When the hell did we become a bunch of namdy pamdy morons?
How is this in anyway acceptable? How do children learn when they aren't allowed to try? How do they learn compassion if they can't hug their friends when they are upset?
WAKE UP WORLD we are taking things way to far.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
An Amazing blog post.
I have just read the most amazing blog post, it pulled on my heartstrings and decided that I had to share it.
http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html This is one of the most sad and loving things I have ever read. When I first saw the title I though ok this is going to be a great rant about religion and their stance on homosexuality but it isn't it's much much more.
It's a blog about love about acceptance and about tolerance. It's about living life to the fullest and while accepting the "sinner" but hating the "sin"(just to be clear I don't think that homosexuality is a sin). It's about looking past people's differences and seeing the actual story within. I sat here reading this blog(please read it all but be warned it's long 3 pages long) and I was crying and in it I recognised something of me in it. I am not a religious person and I am not tolerant of those who are and try to "convert" me. I have been rude and judgemental about it and I have hurt people. Hurting people was never my intention I just wanted them to stop preaching and leave me alone.
I am a great support of homosexual rights and I am big on fighting for marriage equality for same sex couples. I believe you have the right to your religion just like I have the right not to believe. But have I been hurting people with my judgements, I have rolled my eyes and shouted them down instead of respecting their positions. I have friends of many faiths but even they now not to talk to me about it and I use it to ridicule them and in doing that I am no better than those using religion to cover up their hatred. This blog opened my eyes and for that I am grateful.
http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html This is one of the most sad and loving things I have ever read. When I first saw the title I though ok this is going to be a great rant about religion and their stance on homosexuality but it isn't it's much much more.
It's a blog about love about acceptance and about tolerance. It's about living life to the fullest and while accepting the "sinner" but hating the "sin"(just to be clear I don't think that homosexuality is a sin). It's about looking past people's differences and seeing the actual story within. I sat here reading this blog(please read it all but be warned it's long 3 pages long) and I was crying and in it I recognised something of me in it. I am not a religious person and I am not tolerant of those who are and try to "convert" me. I have been rude and judgemental about it and I have hurt people. Hurting people was never my intention I just wanted them to stop preaching and leave me alone.
I am a great support of homosexual rights and I am big on fighting for marriage equality for same sex couples. I believe you have the right to your religion just like I have the right not to believe. But have I been hurting people with my judgements, I have rolled my eyes and shouted them down instead of respecting their positions. I have friends of many faiths but even they now not to talk to me about it and I use it to ridicule them and in doing that I am no better than those using religion to cover up their hatred. This blog opened my eyes and for that I am grateful.
What in the hell is wrong with the world today.
I am remembering a time last year when child 3 was telling me that one of the boys in her class told her he didn't like her because she wasn't sexy. She wasn't sexy, she was 5 she didn't need to be sexy and I told her so. But really it's not surprising that children are picking up on what is deemed sexy thin women are deemed sexy anyone over a size 12 is considered plus size. What has happened to us when people think that bordering on anorexia is sexy and good looking, where fake is preferred to real, where you are considered fat if you are above a size 12.
Earlier this year I was in Sydney and went shopping with husband for new jeans. I walked into one store and asked for a size 16 pair of jeans, the girl looked at me with contempt and with a smug tone told me that " We don't carry anything larger than a 14" Sure ok I am not skinny I am a little overweight but seriously I don't need to be spoken down to like I am a lessor being, Luckily the next shop I went into went all out with their help and not only found me the size I needed but helped me make sure that they fit properly and I was comfortable in them before buying them it was outstanding service and as soon as I got home I fired off an email to the parent company congratulating them on their wonderful staff. The other company got a short terse email about teaching their employee's to speak nicely to customers because we are the base of their business.
How have we let it come to this? I feel for my girls because they are always going to be judged by their looks or their boob size before anything else.
Earlier this year I was in Sydney and went shopping with husband for new jeans. I walked into one store and asked for a size 16 pair of jeans, the girl looked at me with contempt and with a smug tone told me that " We don't carry anything larger than a 14" Sure ok I am not skinny I am a little overweight but seriously I don't need to be spoken down to like I am a lessor being, Luckily the next shop I went into went all out with their help and not only found me the size I needed but helped me make sure that they fit properly and I was comfortable in them before buying them it was outstanding service and as soon as I got home I fired off an email to the parent company congratulating them on their wonderful staff. The other company got a short terse email about teaching their employee's to speak nicely to customers because we are the base of their business.
Why have we gone from seeing this woman a sex goddess to seeing
as one?
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Late nights
Recently I have been having some late nights due to a bout of insomnia. I really hate insomnia it's the pits especially when you have children and you have to get up early in the morning to see them off to school. It wouldn't be so bad if husband was on days off but he isn't he is working the morning shift and is gone by 6am in the morning. I am left feeling like crap all day long but then when it's bedtime I get a 100th wind and I am wide awake again and unable to fall asleep til 4 or 5 in the morning which leaves me having only about 3 hours of sleep a night. Really I should be use to it because it happens every so often but I am not and I am left tired and grumpy and frustrated because I really want to sleep but can't. I use to be a night owl when I didn't have kids and the insomnia didn't bother me so much because I didn't have to get up early.
I have tried pills, they leave me feeling fuzzy and incoherent the next day, mediation just doesn't work, destressing doesn't work actually one Dr suggested this and I laughed in his face and another Dr told me welcome to parenthood I wanted to punch him in the face. Why do Dr's assume just because you are a parent that all woe's and illnesses is due to children. My children are older they aren't babies they sleep all night, I am not up and down because of them, I have a problem no it won't go away by destressing I know I have tried. No it's not because of my children. There has to be some reason for it don't brush me off.
I have tried pills, they leave me feeling fuzzy and incoherent the next day, mediation just doesn't work, destressing doesn't work actually one Dr suggested this and I laughed in his face and another Dr told me welcome to parenthood I wanted to punch him in the face. Why do Dr's assume just because you are a parent that all woe's and illnesses is due to children. My children are older they aren't babies they sleep all night, I am not up and down because of them, I have a problem no it won't go away by destressing I know I have tried. No it's not because of my children. There has to be some reason for it don't brush me off.
Monday, June 11, 2012
The realities of parenting.
When I was pregnant with child number 1 husband and I had discussions of what parenthood would be like, he saw sunshine and rainbows with well behave children. What we got was a child who rarely slept unless she was in my arms and didn't like her daddy until she was about 18 months old. Husband use to complain that I had her off switch. He would hold her while I was doing something and she would scream and scream and scream and no matter what he did she wouldn't settle insert mummy and all was right with her world, she would stop screaming and calm down. Then 17 months later we added another child into the mix and trust there was no sunshine and rainbows it was nappies, tantrums, feeding making sure the one kid didn't poke the other child awake.
Trust me when I say it's not all rainbows and sunshine sure there are days where things go well and everything is happy. Yes parenting is great but it's damn hard work. The late nights, the never ending supply of dirty nappies, the toilet training, the mess they make the stuff they break, the shrill cries that grate on your nerves. Don't get me wrong parenting is rewarding seeing your child smile for the first time, a hug, the delight in their eyes when the discover that they can do something, watching them grow and learn. But it's tough, nothing worth having is easy and it's the same with parenting.
There is the PND, cracked nipples(if breastfeeding), judgement if you breast feed, judgement if you don't. Parenting advice from strangers, people touching you like you are public property when pregnant. Judgement from strangers if you happen to be young and with two children but your husband is at work(yes this happened to me). Books that say one thing, books that say another, your child not adhering to your set scheduling for them. The Stress the strain. The expectations. And this is just with healthy children imagine how hard it would be with children who are sick, or premmie. When going into parenting you have to remember that this is real life and in real life things can get tough. Never be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
Trust me when I say it's not all rainbows and sunshine sure there are days where things go well and everything is happy. Yes parenting is great but it's damn hard work. The late nights, the never ending supply of dirty nappies, the toilet training, the mess they make the stuff they break, the shrill cries that grate on your nerves. Don't get me wrong parenting is rewarding seeing your child smile for the first time, a hug, the delight in their eyes when the discover that they can do something, watching them grow and learn. But it's tough, nothing worth having is easy and it's the same with parenting.
There is the PND, cracked nipples(if breastfeeding), judgement if you breast feed, judgement if you don't. Parenting advice from strangers, people touching you like you are public property when pregnant. Judgement from strangers if you happen to be young and with two children but your husband is at work(yes this happened to me). Books that say one thing, books that say another, your child not adhering to your set scheduling for them. The Stress the strain. The expectations. And this is just with healthy children imagine how hard it would be with children who are sick, or premmie. When going into parenting you have to remember that this is real life and in real life things can get tough. Never be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
The lights of my life.
As I have told you before I have 3 children they are the lights of my life well most days anyway. I have 2 girl children and one boy child.
Child 1 is my oldest girl child and has much to her fathers horror started "growing up" she has hit what I call the 3 P's pimples, puberty and periods well we have 2 out of 3. She is going to be rather tall and at 10 has over taken my mother in hight(much to my mum's horror and my daughters amusement). And she isn't that far off being taller than me. She is my drama queen child. She loves her friends, family and country music(I trained her well) And we have the same shoe size. She is into computers and gaming just like her father.
Child 2 is my only boy and he is all boy, rough and tumble and forgets that sometimes his sisters don't want to play rough with him. He is a sweet and gentle boy who with the occasional outburst. He loves funny things like funny youtube clips. Is way to involved in a computer game(that's his father coming out in him) called minecraft. At 9 he has a huge sense of social justice and hates seeing people bullied, often leaving his self open as a target to the bullies.
Then there is my baby girl(who would throw a fit if she knew I called her that) at 6 she is truly and individual who marches to the beat of her own drum and always has. She isn't a very affectionate child and it's rare that she will give you a kiss when a cuddle will do just as well if not better in her books. She love barbies and her friends, hates going to school in the morning but hates coming home in the afternoon. She is a lover of movies and the old cartoons(scooby do and tom and jerry).
These three are the people I would lay my life on the line for they are the sunshine on rainy days, they cheer me up when I am feeling down. They are my everything.
Child 1 is my oldest girl child and has much to her fathers horror started "growing up" she has hit what I call the 3 P's pimples, puberty and periods well we have 2 out of 3. She is going to be rather tall and at 10 has over taken my mother in hight(much to my mum's horror and my daughters amusement). And she isn't that far off being taller than me. She is my drama queen child. She loves her friends, family and country music(I trained her well) And we have the same shoe size. She is into computers and gaming just like her father.
Child 2 is my only boy and he is all boy, rough and tumble and forgets that sometimes his sisters don't want to play rough with him. He is a sweet and gentle boy who with the occasional outburst. He loves funny things like funny youtube clips. Is way to involved in a computer game(that's his father coming out in him) called minecraft. At 9 he has a huge sense of social justice and hates seeing people bullied, often leaving his self open as a target to the bullies.
Then there is my baby girl(who would throw a fit if she knew I called her that) at 6 she is truly and individual who marches to the beat of her own drum and always has. She isn't a very affectionate child and it's rare that she will give you a kiss when a cuddle will do just as well if not better in her books. She love barbies and her friends, hates going to school in the morning but hates coming home in the afternoon. She is a lover of movies and the old cartoons(scooby do and tom and jerry).
These three are the people I would lay my life on the line for they are the sunshine on rainy days, they cheer me up when I am feeling down. They are my everything.
Things that make you go :O
I love facebook and the funny stuff you can find on there but in recent weeks I have found myself with my jaw hanging open at the stupid things I have seen. Today for instance I saw one funny with the question can my girl baby get pregnant if I have sex while pregnant?
Don't believe me? Here have a look http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091208190143AAJXEQJ I am sitting here hoping that this is a joke question and the person asking isn't serious but I some how doubt it.
I know it's funny and you really should shake your head at the stupid things you see and read yet some how while it is funny it's sad at the same time.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
My friends.
I love my friends the ones near and the ones far, a lot of them have come to be like family to me there when I need them and I am there when they need me. They accept that I am a little nuts yet still love me.
I have wonderful friends there is Crissy over at Phenomenal Woman http://bloggitymoo.blogspot.com.au who I talk to most days, we share everything and even though we are states away from each other we are great friends. Then there are the people I have meet due to facebook games such as Kingdoms of Camelot who have become like family I am in their lives and they are in mine and most of us talk daily over skype or through the game.
Then there is my sister in law not only is she my sister in law but is also a great friend, And a big mention to my actual sister who has been there with me through the hard times and the good ones. Then I have my cousins who are just as crazy as I am(we think it's genetic LOL). These are the people who help keep me sane.
So to all my Friends THANK YOU for being YOU.
I have wonderful friends there is Crissy over at Phenomenal Woman http://bloggitymoo.blogspot.com.au who I talk to most days, we share everything and even though we are states away from each other we are great friends. Then there are the people I have meet due to facebook games such as Kingdoms of Camelot who have become like family I am in their lives and they are in mine and most of us talk daily over skype or through the game.
Then there is my sister in law not only is she my sister in law but is also a great friend, And a big mention to my actual sister who has been there with me through the hard times and the good ones. Then I have my cousins who are just as crazy as I am(we think it's genetic LOL). These are the people who help keep me sane.
So to all my Friends THANK YOU for being YOU.
Monday, June 4, 2012
The great job hunt.
So after being a stay at home mum for the last 11 years I am looking for work. This is a rather scary thing for me because I have been out of the work force for so so so long. Last year I did two months of short term work, but now I am looking for long term forever work. I am sick and tired of my own company(ie me by myself). I need people interaction cause I am quite boring after spending that last two years with just me for company on the days that Husband is at work and kids are at school. There is only so much you can say to yourself and how much housework you can do with out going totally crazy. Worst of all I have to now arrange my days around Dr Phil.
So in the last two weeks I have applied for 4 jobs and will apply for more until I get one. Really I need a job that is going to let me work around husband's hours or at least a 9 til 2 job but I don't think it's very likely. I am always asked if husband is pressuring me to go to work but the reality is that he isn't. He is happy for me to stay at home if that is what I want to do, he is really supportive of anything that I choose to do.
I am feel like I am slowly losing what ever brain matter I had staying at home. I am not using my brain all that much and I need something to do to keep from going mad.
So here is hoping I find a job soon.
So in the last two weeks I have applied for 4 jobs and will apply for more until I get one. Really I need a job that is going to let me work around husband's hours or at least a 9 til 2 job but I don't think it's very likely. I am always asked if husband is pressuring me to go to work but the reality is that he isn't. He is happy for me to stay at home if that is what I want to do, he is really supportive of anything that I choose to do.
I am feel like I am slowly losing what ever brain matter I had staying at home. I am not using my brain all that much and I need something to do to keep from going mad.
So here is hoping I find a job soon.
1005 people are NOT the majority.
Dear media outlets when you run a story saying the majority of Australian's are against the Carbon Tax and support Mr Abbott's plan to abolish it maybe you should interview more that 1005 people. You can't say that less than 0.00001% of the population that you interviewed(we have something like 27 MILLION people in Australia) are the Majority of Australian's. It may be the majority of the people you spoke to but 1005 people are NOT and never will be the Majority of Australian's unless there was a death plague and millions of people died. I know that the heading the majority of 1005 people interviewed isn't exactly a headline grabber but a little more of the truth in your reporting would go a long way to putting the faith people have lost in journalist.
This was nothing more than a media beat up. A majority would be 20 million out of 27 million or 17 million out of 27 million not 1005 out of 27 million.
This was nothing more than a media beat up. A majority would be 20 million out of 27 million or 17 million out of 27 million not 1005 out of 27 million.
Friday, June 1, 2012
The Ahh Bra
Ok Ok I fell for the hype this new beaut bra was going to fix all my boob woes. I was going to be lifted, supported and finally be able to wear a bra with no under wire. It was all in the promo right this was the bra to beat all bra's.
Well It's not it sucked as a bra I wasn't lifted, I wasn't supported, I wasn't separated(2 boobs instead of a mono boob) the only thing it did was fix the bra fat you get at the back. Sure if you are small breasted I am sure this just might be the bra for you but big breasted ladies trust me THIS ISN'T THE BRA YOU WANT. They did NOTHING to support my 12DD boobs at all hell if I ran in it I could have knocked myself out. So a week after buying the Ahh Bra I went bra shopping again and now have two lovely UNDERWIRE Bra's holding, supporting my boobs plus lifting them back to where they were pre children and breast feeding. Lesson learnt No Ahh Bra's for me.
Well It's not it sucked as a bra I wasn't lifted, I wasn't supported, I wasn't separated(2 boobs instead of a mono boob) the only thing it did was fix the bra fat you get at the back. Sure if you are small breasted I am sure this just might be the bra for you but big breasted ladies trust me THIS ISN'T THE BRA YOU WANT. They did NOTHING to support my 12DD boobs at all hell if I ran in it I could have knocked myself out. So a week after buying the Ahh Bra I went bra shopping again and now have two lovely UNDERWIRE Bra's holding, supporting my boobs plus lifting them back to where they were pre children and breast feeding. Lesson learnt No Ahh Bra's for me.
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