Being a shift workers wife is hard work. You have to come up with routines for every different shift(thankful Husband works 12hr shifts days and nights). And switch routines according to the shift that they are on or if they are home. This means that I have 3 different routines that I have to try to stick to.
Day Shift Routine.
This occurs when Husband works 6:30am til 6:30pm so it's all on me. I get the kids up feed them breakfast get them ready for school, make lunches, pick them up, feed them afternoon snack, do home work or make sure they get to the activities they are doing. Feed them dinner, get them ready for bed then dad comes home. This is the bit where my day gets a bit hard. Dad is home and the kids all want to be with him, they want to tell him about their day what's happening in school(or what we have done today during the holidays) Dad eats while all the kids talk to him at once(chuckle). All of this while I am trying to get them to bed. Then the struggle beings. Husband wants time out to relax after work(which he is entitled) I want to relax after a stressful day with the kids(which I am not entitled) and the kids want dad. They want dad to put them to sleep to read and play. Husband is tired and wants to go to sleep. So by 9:30 he is in bed and I am still fighting to get the kids to go to sleep.
Night Shift routine.
This shift I HATE. I don't like being at home alone at night I never have since I moved to the "city" I grew up in the country where you could leave your doors unlocked. Here it's tighter than Fort Knox. Husband goes to work at 6:30pm comes home after 6:30am. This means the whole night time routine is left to me. To give husband props on night shift and school days he comes home makes the kids lunches then heads off to bed thus saving me one job. However it also means that once again I am on my own doing the before school routine. Weekends and holiday night shifts are the worst because you have to either keep the kids really quiet or take them out all day long so that he can sleep. During this shift we see Husband for all of 2 hours a day before he is off to work.
The days off routine
This consists of husband "helping" out when he is on days off. This however still leaves everything up to me to make it work. I don't get a sleep in or a day off(as proven today).
There is one more but it happens so rarely it barely rates a mention which is the his extended holiday routine but has only happened twice in 11 years.
I know I am lucky to have a husband that works and helps out at home but sometimes it gets hard and I feel like I am struggling up stream in a raging river with no life raft, rope or life preserver.
That sounds harder than being a single Mum in some ways because at least i can rely on the same routine day in, day out. I admire you for all you do, it's a tough gig and even you need a break from time to time. xxx
ReplyDeleteThanks Crissy.
ReplyDeleteI googled the exact title of this post today because I'm in the same boat and jack of it. 9 month old plus 3.5 year old girls. Love them to death-also love my cabin crew manager husband to death.
ReplyDeleteHATE HATE HATE, loathe and detest his stupid job. He works generally either 'earlies' or 'lates'. Earlies start at 5am(he's up at 3) and finish around 2pm. Lates start at around midday (he has to start getting ready at about 10) and finish about midnight. If I'm really unlucky he gets a middle of the day shift, which means he leaves at 7am and is home at 7-8. Sometimes he gets sunday Monday off, sometimes only one day. He plays hockey Sunday's. (Which he is entitled) and wants to rest and sleep in on his days off (which he is entitled to) so I get to sleep in on....oh that's rights, never(which I'm not entitled to).
Agree that the absolute hardest thing about it is not being ablue to have a regular rhythm with the kids, which they and I need desperately. Rant over. Thanks for your blog, it helps to know I'm not alone feeling like this!
sailing in a same boat :(
ReplyDelete