Wow it's been a long long time.

Wow I just realised that I have done this blog in over two years I got a tad of writers block and then just sort of got busy.

So much in my life has changed since the last time I blogged, I don't have the same job any more, I don't live in the same house, I am two years older.

To update, We finally bought our own home, it's a small 4 bedroom home but it's ours.

I now have a full time part time job, and juggling working kids and shift work isn't any easier than managing life with kids and a shift working husband.  Life is just forever hectic.

I am older, I am not sure if I am wiser but I am definitely older.  And I think I have finally figured out what I REALLY want to do with my life.  Now the trick is to get there, I am stronger than ever in my convictions and I know I can make a difference I just need to get some "experience" behind me and some more schooling and I should be on the right track.

The kids are older and growing.

Oldest child is happily excited that they are now taller than me.

Middle child is working on being the next one.

And my youngest my surprise us all and be the tallest one of all three children.


My Husband is STILL shift working only now the shifts are all 12 hours.

Ok this is my small catch up hopefully I will remember to write again soon.

big love.

I am finally a working woman again.

So the time has come for me to re-enter the work force and what a hell of a ride it has been trying to get back in.  A trip to a recruitment place was meet with "the job market is at a bit of a decline but we can see what we can do" Yep that's looking good for them helping me.................................. NOT.

So I finally got a line on a job from a family member and I got the job(go me and thank you family member) it's only casual but it's baby steps to new skills that will make me more employable in the near future.  I am not working because I have to or we are hard up for cash I am working for my own piece of mind.  I am going stir crazy at home all the time alone with nothing but unrelenting housework to do.

12 years out of the work force being a stay at home parent reduced all my skills I had before I had children to naught it wasn't worth anything any more.  Time change in 12 years.  I don't regret staying home with my kids at all but maybe I should have studied while I was home so when the time came I had at least some sort of qualification behind me.

The first night of my job was awesome, being out, not being responsible for small people, talking to other adults was FANTASTIC.  It was great for my self esteem and self worth.  This job is all about making me feel better and you know what two shifts in and it has helped me so much already.

I went a little cleaning mad.

A couple of weeks ago I got a carpet shampooer and to be honest I didn't really have very high expectations for it(previous experiences with hyped up appliances) but this one really works,

My carpets went from

 To This

Pulling out This in the process 

This is just a small part of the crap that came out of my carpets.  I knew they were a bit grotty but not that grotty.

So then I decided that while the carpets were clean the lace curtain we had was disgusting and needed to be cleaned as well.  So that went into the bathtub with some napisan and warm water to get cleaned as well.  Once that was done with window's looked Dirty so they got cleaned as well.

After all that I took a look at my nice cleanish carpets, clean lace curtain and window's and decided I needed to do the walls as well.  So Now I have a nice clean lounge room.  All I have to do now is put everything back where it belongs as I moved all the furniture out to clean it up.

How to dress to help prevent rape! And why this statement is so ridiculous

The amount of times I have seen or heard this is amazing and makes me want to hit the person who utters such stupid words.

I know wear pants! No woman ever gets raped wearing pants right?

Nope they still get raped wearing pants.

Long dresses! No woman has ever been raped wearing a long dress right?

Nope they still get raped wearing long Dresses.

I know maybe we should adopt a full covering like the Burqua.  No one ever gets raped wearing a Burqua right?

Nope they still get raped wearing Burqua's.

So really how does one dress to prevent someone else's actions?

The answer is you can't, you really can't.  It won't matter what you wear it won't stop a rapists actions.

Why Victim blaming will always be wrong.

There have been a few rape cases in the media lately the one that stands out the most is the one over in America with the rape of a 16 year old girl by two 16 year old young men.  The sad thing about this case was that it was done.  The second saddest thing was the defence one of the defence attorneys used.

It was that she didn't say NO.  Mind you the young girl was passed out at the time and couldn't say yes or no even if she wanted to.  So he was saying that the absence of no was a yes.  WTF?  How could an young woman passed out say yes or no?  Why if she couldn't say no mean that it was a yes?  These are some of the questions I would like to ask this attorney.  I know that it's his job to defend his client but such a useless defence was going to see the outcome that was the outcome.  Guilty.
Here is a link to the news story about the defence:  http://www.news.com.au/world-news/trial-of-two-high-school-footballers-accused-of-raping-a-teenage-girl-starts-in-the-us/story-fndir2ev-1226596194883#ixzz2NNZNBbwQ

This same lawyer was also later quoted as saying  "yet Madison claims the 16-year-old knew what she was getting herself into, because who wouldn't expect to be repeatedly sexually assaulted by multiple people without her consent after some shots? We call that "Friday night!"" 

Where does he get off blaming the victim?  This was done TO her without her consent, she was violated in one of the worst ways imaginable and he thinks he can just call it a friday night?  If I was the woman in his life I would be afraid very afraid that he thinks this kind of behaviour is acceptable.

What upsets me the most is that this isn't a one off, Media reports rapes and it's always always always stated if the woman had been drinking or not.  It doesn't matter if the woman/girl/man/boy was drinking if you don't say yes it's RAPE.  

Police questions can be just as insensitive 
Have you slept with him before?
How many times?
What makes you think it was rape?
Why were you alone with him?
Why were you drinking?
What were you wearing?

Stuff like that is victim blaming, lets get one thing straight once and for all VICTIMS AREN'T TO BLAME.  They aren't responsible in any way shape or form.  

It should never be about what she wore, what she drank, what she did.  Why aren't there questions in the media about what he wore, what he drank, what he did?  The actions of the rapists seem to be blamed on the raped each and every time.  This is unfair to the victim, why should they carry the responsibility of someone else's actions?

It was not her fault her daddy did that to her, it was not her fault her brother did that to her, it was not her fault her uncle, grandfather, boyfriend, family friend ETC did that to her.  The responsibility has to lie with him because if it doesn't we can never stop the rape culture we seem to have developed as a world.

The fault must lie with the rapist, they need to be held accountable for their actions.  We need to make this abuse stop.  Rape is one of the least reported crimes in the WORLD, Those that are report only about 2% make it to court and only about 1% have a conviction recorded.  Why is it that woman accept this?  Why are we not crying out for harsher sentences, why is one of the biggest crimes against woman given such lowly treatment? 

We need to rise up we need to be a collective voice, we need to demand the punishment fit the damn crime.  NO MORE lenient sentences for a crime that woman will carry with them for life, It changes you as a person, it changes your sense of security, every body you meet is met with caution will this be a person who takes advantage of me.


This is why victim blaming will always be wrong we carry a guilt that isn't ours to carry.
  

I ran away for a few days

Last Thursday I turned to my husband and asked him if he was off for the weekened and when was he heading back to work.  Turns out he is off until this evening.  So I told him I was running away for 4 days and heading down to Melbourne.

6am Saturday morning I jumped in my car and hit the road. Stopping first in Wadonga to visit with my nan who lives up there.  Then a quick stop at my mum's(she was in QLD) for a bathroom break because all the rest stops were being upgraded and weren't opened.

Then a short 2 hour drive to my destination.  I arrived at Phenomenal Woman's house(Crissy) you can find her here http://bloggitymoo.blogspot.com.au/ .  Now one would think running away from your 3 children at home to a woman with 7 children was kind of crazy.  But it was just the thing I needed.  Some girly time drinking wine eating fine fine food that I didn't have to cook.  And it was fine food I thought I had gone to heaven Crissy's Lasagne is to DIE FOR, all cheesey and meaty and just yum.  The next day we decided to do take away and what an experience that was.  Getting Hungry Jacks for 9 people we ordered and paid for the meal through drive though then we were asked to pull into the waiting bays and wait we did.  All of a sudden out walks one of the workers with a BOX of food Crissy and I just burst out laughing.  No seriously it came out in a box

That was an experience for me.  Crissy's kids are amazing from her oldest to her youngest.  I have a soft spot for her almost 11 year old Alex he is so sweet and caring.  I wanted to bring him home with me but Crissy wouldn't let me.  

Her oldest son Christian Played his guitar and sang for us on Saturday night and he has an amazing voice and his skills on the guitar is Phenomenal.

Her 2nd oldest son Thomas is a sweet kid(and I feel a little guilty cause I slept in his bed) he is a kind caring young man who loves his family.

You have heard about her 3rd son Alex. 

Then there is Nicholas is another real sweety, funny kid.

Then there is Luca who was so quiet I sometimes forgot he was there.

Then there is Daniel who is firery sort, still sweet though.

And Finally there is Miss Moo who at 3 is a princess, she is a mumma's girl but loves her brothers, she is cheeky, sweet and loving.

They are an amazing family and it was a joy to be there.  I had the best time and the nicest break, I got to recharge my batteries and came home feeling good.

So a big thank you to Crissy and family for allowing me to spend 4 days with you.  Thank you for feeding me amazing meals and just allowing me to chill.  MWAH

Writer's Block

I have a great blog piece floating around in my head but I have no idea how to put it into words without it seeming like a bunch of random comments from me.

I have been thinking about this for about the past hour and I still have no idea how to put my idea down in words.